This is not my ceiling
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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