i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
two words...techno handjob
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
