You're so nebulous sometimes
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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