every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
