I hate all girls vehemently.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
