Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
