Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i barfeds in our rink
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
