she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I love you. Go after that dick
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
