Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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