i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
as a side note pls kill me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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