Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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