I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
