So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
