I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
