I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
