I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
