people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
