i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
