Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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