M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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