i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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