i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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