the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
