you're like a bully in the Christmas story
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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