I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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