this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
