If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
