Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Randomize
