Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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