Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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