K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
