Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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