he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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