I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
