One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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