My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
When are your genitals available?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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