I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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