How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
no, he came in my armpit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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