My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
please come you make the beer taste better
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
is it fun? or sober?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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