I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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