Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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