she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
