I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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