Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
