dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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