Me too!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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