as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
