also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's never too late to be topless.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
