I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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