I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Randomize
